In the past week, one potential client asked me to take one of his team outside of his comfort zone and to make him more open. He wasn't particularly happy when I politely said no, I won't be doing that. I'll take him out of his comfort zone, sure, but he dictates how open he is. This cued a little bit of an argument as his base premise was that openness was a necessity in modern business.
That's what we all want isn't it? That's the business I'm in, of challenging people to be open communicators.
Actually no.
That can result in this sort response to the question, how many piano tuners are there in the world?
Actually no.
That can result in this sort response to the question, how many piano tuners are there in the world?
 | Its funny you should mention that, as I was listening to a piano player last night in the hotel lobby where I was staying, and she looked so stunningly beautiful. I can practically feel that red dress she had on.... My wife used to have one similar, but since the kids, she doesn't wear it, in fact we don't really get out that much anymore. Sorry, what was the question again? |
That's open communication.
When you're making a demand as a listener I think your list of necessities should be something like:
For me that little list pretty much sums up everything you need to be as a communicator. If you're honest, authentic and closed, then that's fine. If you want to become more open, then I'd suggest trying it and seeing how it feels to be open. Don't get hung up on trying to be open to be a good communicator though.
'Openness' should only ever be dictated by the communicator, not by their audience. If the audience tries to take the communicator outside of their comfort zone, and make them more open, against their will, then the honest and authenticity will disappear quicker than you can send a tweet saying "shucks she looks uncomfortable #awks".
As it happens, I think one of my strengths as a communicator is my openness, as I can be honest and authentic about subjects that are shrouded in mystery and shadows like mental health. That makes for interesting content... it's easy to tell a story that's personal. However it's also easy to tell an interesting story whilst keeping your world closed off to the rest of us. That's probably the mark of a really great communicator, managing to be interesting about things that are inherently uninteresting.
One game I like to play with some of my clients, the more accomplished ones, is the slide game. I have a bank of some 300 slides, each with a random word or phrase on. The timer is set for 120seconds, and the slides can appear in any order. I get clients to speak for those two minutes about whatever the slide says, and they're not allowed to 'erm' or let their energy drop.
It sounds so easy. The majority get to their third or fourth slide on their first go. And it takes practice to get better. Practice, skills and passion. Openness has nothing to do with it. So next time somebody tells you you're not open enough, maybe it's them who's too closed off.
When you're communicating, do you feel you need to be 'open'? Do you feel your audience has the right to ask for 'openness' unless you provide it; in any walk of life, let alone just business?
When you're making a demand as a listener I think your list of necessities should be something like:
- authentic
- honest
- hearable
- interesting
For me that little list pretty much sums up everything you need to be as a communicator. If you're honest, authentic and closed, then that's fine. If you want to become more open, then I'd suggest trying it and seeing how it feels to be open. Don't get hung up on trying to be open to be a good communicator though.
'Openness' should only ever be dictated by the communicator, not by their audience. If the audience tries to take the communicator outside of their comfort zone, and make them more open, against their will, then the honest and authenticity will disappear quicker than you can send a tweet saying "shucks she looks uncomfortable #awks".
As it happens, I think one of my strengths as a communicator is my openness, as I can be honest and authentic about subjects that are shrouded in mystery and shadows like mental health. That makes for interesting content... it's easy to tell a story that's personal. However it's also easy to tell an interesting story whilst keeping your world closed off to the rest of us. That's probably the mark of a really great communicator, managing to be interesting about things that are inherently uninteresting.
One game I like to play with some of my clients, the more accomplished ones, is the slide game. I have a bank of some 300 slides, each with a random word or phrase on. The timer is set for 120seconds, and the slides can appear in any order. I get clients to speak for those two minutes about whatever the slide says, and they're not allowed to 'erm' or let their energy drop.
It sounds so easy. The majority get to their third or fourth slide on their first go. And it takes practice to get better. Practice, skills and passion. Openness has nothing to do with it. So next time somebody tells you you're not open enough, maybe it's them who's too closed off.
When you're communicating, do you feel you need to be 'open'? Do you feel your audience has the right to ask for 'openness' unless you provide it; in any walk of life, let alone just business?
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